What happens when a 61-year-old widower with a spreadsheet discovers BDSM?
This isn’t another BDSM guide written by 20-somethings. It’s the real story of a transportation safety engineer who thought he had life figured out at 61, then discovered he knew nothing about anything—especially himself.
From Spreadsheets to Scenes: The Real Story
At 61, I was a widowed transportation safety engineer who thought I had life figured out. Then I took what I thought was a personality test and scored 85% switch on a BDSM compatibility quiz.
Imagine my shock.
After meeting Rose, who’d had some difficult experiences in the past, I wanted to be the Dom she deserved – someone to serve and love her properly. So I did what I always do: overthink everything. Why not learn what a Dom is supposed to do, out of love?
But what was I going to do with this “switch” label? Turns out, being naturally adaptive was exactly what she needed.
- Thursday check-ins that became sacred rituals
- The “naturally adaptive” framework for authentic dominance –
- Permission to fumble gracefully while figuring it out
- Why the best contracts stay unsigned
- Learning to Dom as a switch – the real journey
Thursday Check-ins: Where Honesty Meets Cereal
Every Thursday night became sacred in my house. Sometimes it’s cereal for dinner, sometimes it’s Chinese takeout from a container. But it’s always honest. These weekly check-ins started as a relationship tool with Rose, but became something bigger: permission to be human, tired, and imperfect while still figuring things out.